Have you ever looked out of your basement apartment's window and wondered if life had more in store for you than Assistant Manager at the Everything's 79¢ store?
Did those long college nights huffing aerosol glue ruin your shot at making crew for the International Space Station?
Do you possess vital organs fit for black market resale?
Pod Six, a division of Sealab and presentation of THE HATE DOME, seeks men and women volunteers to staff the science and research facilities of InterFuse.
Work
- Participating sailors will be encouraged to conduct experiments on the local fauna and ingeniousness inhabitants.
Entertainment
- The BeBop Cola HATE BAR™
- Howlin' Mad Murphy musical program
- Nightly pyrotechnic display resulting in catastrophic structural failure of entire facility
Compensation
- The daily pay for sailors and science staff is A HANDFUL OF POISON IVY and all the SEA KITTENS you care to eat. EXPERIENCED SEAMEN MUST PROVIDE THEIR OWN WHISKEY.
Interested parties can find out more at www.PodSixIsJerks.com
Further requests for information may be sent to SignMeUp@PodSixIsJerks.com. Inquiries will be printed in triplicate, labeled, briefly lost, found and eventually stored in a basement filing cabinet covered in rust and puffy plastic banana stickers.
Your breathing is no longer an effortless act; you are now doing it deliberately.